February 24, 2014 - My Life

Dear Parents, whether by birth or otherwise,

So, I guess that you are all pretty much wondering what is going on with my life right now. I want to be very straight forward and honest.

 

1. Just under a ton of pressure, with a lot of different aspects of missionary life;

 

    a.) Our area is dead and our investigators are not keeping any commitments.

 

    b.) The companionship's in my district are all having a ton of issues; not getting along, not being obedient, getting discouraged, being lazy, etc.

 

    c.) My companion is a really nice guy, but he really is only good for small talk, not really a source for validation or compassion.

 

There are definitely a lot of different forces pulling me in many different directions, which I do understand as a normal fact of life.

 

2. Two weeks a go I had a pretty substantial "break down". I was caught in what Elder Holland labels as "The Dark Night of the Mind" and a "Crater in the Mind"(see Holland, "Like a Broken Vessel", Oct 2013) Depression is something that I had always thought I had experienced, but I don't think I really ever had until this point in my life.

 

After about 2 days straight of that, I called Sister Kendrick and explained what was happening to me, I met with her, we talked for a while, and decided that I really could only get help from a professional. She had me take a test, sent it into SLC, I got approval for visiting a counselor for LDS Family Services.

 

But, I felt better a few days after that, and decided that I would be ok, and didn't need to see anyone. And then, later on that week I got pretty wrecked again, and that night I called President and told him that I needed to schedule an appointment.

 

Last week I met with a counselor that I took one of my last companions to see a few times, her name is... actually it is probably confidential. But, she is really awesome, and she has helped me. I will meet with her twice more probably, she is giving me tools that she uses to help people think through what is happening.

 

I am actually really grateful for all of this that is happening to me, because I am literally getting STRONGER, spiritually and emotionally and socially because of it.

 

I am running out of time, but I just wanted to fill all of you in. Sorry for the scare, I was originally just going to not say anything about anything.

 

Saturday, we piked up 2 new investigators and set 4 baptismal dates. And I am back on the road. Looking out for great things to happen.

 

Love you so much. sorry no general email, i have 4 seconds left.