I think that as the time goes on in my mission, I realize more and more that I am not an adequate servent of our Lord. I cannot fulfill my Duty to God on my own. It takes his hand in my life to put me into the right place at the right time to say the right thing.
It is very difficult for me to be the missionary who can look at missionary work and know how it is supposed to be done. And to know the best ways that I can help others. The way that I feel is the best way is often not the same as the way that it is supposed to be done. Being a missionary is really hard. in order to follow the correct order of the church I am more of a tool for the curch than an actual entity. It is really hard for me to remember that sometimes, I think it will be a lot easier when I am apart of my own ward instead of a part of someone elses ward.
If you are wondering how a missionary who has problems like that is called to be a trainer, you are not alone. The truth is, well, the truth. "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called" that is the quote on the bishops desk from when I was younger, I don't know if it is still there or not, but I remember it from Bishop Nelson. I never really knew how huge that actually was untill now. All of the church leaders I look up to are amazing at what they do, maybe not because they are more quallified than others, but because they have more help from the Lord than others. You just have to be open for that help to come into your life. You have to be humble, submissive, patient, all of the other things that the scriptures say. it is a divine plan.
Love Elder Strong